Tuesday, 18 October 2016

The Perfect Day

I am learning to make my writing more interesting for the reader. I know I will be able to do this when I add more detail, interesting words and include what I see, hear, smell and feel. 

The Perfect Day
I woke at 8:30 in the morning. We were all so excited because we were going to Nelson to see our family.

This will the the most perfect day ever.
When we arrived at my Uncle’s house I had to have a bath. It was a quick bath because I wanted to play.
I hopped out of the bath and got dressed. Then Kalani and I played with the dog before going inside to watch a movie.
After the movie had finished we went to bed.
The next day Mum took us to Nana’s and our cousins were there.  Mana, Maui our cousins and I went to our Uncle’s house. We got to see our other cousins.

It was a perfect day with all the family and cousins.
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1 comment:

  1. Anonymous18 October 2016 at 20:24

    Kia ora Malia. I like the way you wrote about how you felt about going to Nelson. What did you do with your family and cousins while you were at your Uncle's house Malia?

    ReplyDelete

Thank-you for your postive, thoughtful, helpful comment.

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